The transition from secondary school to senior school was not a smooth one for me. My fifteen year old head had too many things going on inside it than it could handle. It was difficult to concentrate on anything with all that racing thoughts which crossed my mind 24X7. Even before I could process a thought another started forming. It became exhausting after a point of time. Then I started developing psychosomatic symptoms.
It all started with excruciating headaches. Then followed the stomach ache. No it was not a teenage bellyaching. It was not a 'phase'. My health started deteriorating and so did my results. For most part of the year I was down with some pain or the other. I had to take painkillers and even injections to simply function in life. Tests came up with no positive symptoms. I started losing interest in almost everything. I lost focus and nothing could hold my attention for long. The counselor at school suggested that I seek psychiatric help.
The Indian society, even in the twenty first century, still considers a psychiatric problem to be a taboo, almost at par with venereal diseases. My first attempts at seeking medical help was promptly dismissed. Soon I was indeed taken to a therapist but that was of not much help. I couldn't connect to him and I ended up never talking to him about my feelings. I was prescribed a couple of anti depressants and that was the end of the matter.
My problem was not solved, or even remotely addressed. I was not sad, I was going through a huge emotional roller-coaster every single day. My moods swings drove me crazy. I kept going through binge-eating, self harm, guilt trips and I did not know what to do. My grades started slipping as I found it very difficult to concentrate and remember things. I withdrew more and more into my imaginary world.
It all started with excruciating headaches. Then followed the stomach ache. No it was not a teenage bellyaching. It was not a 'phase'. My health started deteriorating and so did my results. For most part of the year I was down with some pain or the other. I had to take painkillers and even injections to simply function in life. Tests came up with no positive symptoms. I started losing interest in almost everything. I lost focus and nothing could hold my attention for long. The counselor at school suggested that I seek psychiatric help.
The Indian society, even in the twenty first century, still considers a psychiatric problem to be a taboo, almost at par with venereal diseases. My first attempts at seeking medical help was promptly dismissed. Soon I was indeed taken to a therapist but that was of not much help. I couldn't connect to him and I ended up never talking to him about my feelings. I was prescribed a couple of anti depressants and that was the end of the matter.
My problem was not solved, or even remotely addressed. I was not sad, I was going through a huge emotional roller-coaster every single day. My moods swings drove me crazy. I kept going through binge-eating, self harm, guilt trips and I did not know what to do. My grades started slipping as I found it very difficult to concentrate and remember things. I withdrew more and more into my imaginary world.
No comments:
Post a Comment